I you're surrounded by cheerfull people, how could you possibly be sad?
Don't you want your family to be happy? Don't you want what's best for your friends? Don't you want people around you too feel as if life is smiling upon them?
At least I want all these three things for all humans and I do my best everyday to make everyone else happy.
This "making-everyone-else-happy"-thing makes it very difficult in situations where I have to choose between two or more events. This happens to me very often I'm a person who's always on the go. I'd love to do everything, but I can't duplicate myself. Therefore I have to choose who I'd prefer to spend my time with and what I'd prefer to do. That's my everyday dilemma. My way to come up with a decision is this: first I try to figure out what I'd actually prefer, and then I think about what the people in question would think, how they'd be affected and which role I'd play in each situation. According to their feelings I finally decide what to do.
This way of deciding is why I have trouble making up my mind. I guess I should think only about what I want, and I've tried to. I've been taking decisions only focusing on my own thoughts and feelings. Unfortunately this has lead to neither me nor the others being happy. Therefore I went back to my old way of taking decisions, because then at least someone was happy.
What follows is an example of how my evenings look:
Once upon a time I was supposed to meet up with a few of my beloved classmates and just spend some quality time with them. All of a sudden there was a phone call from some friends who was in town for the day and wished to see me. They live far, far away from here and I hardly ever see them since they, as I said, live far, far away. And there I was, thorn apart, unable to decide how to spend the day. On one hand I had my classmates with whom I always have a good time, no matter what we do, although I see them almost every day of the week. On the other hand I had the others, who had called me, with whom I didn't think it would be as entertaining. Considering only my own feelings, I would immediately choose my classmates. However, I seldom bear only my own feelings in mind. In the end of that day I therefore found myself seated in a café with the people from far, far away. I knew that the others appreciated me being there, but in my mind it was now me who was far, far away. I was thinking about why I once again had chosen not what I would prefer, but what the others preferred.
I don't always choose what's right for me, but I hope I can make others joyful through my way of living. If the people around me become happy from my actions, then I'm at least doing one thing right. This I believe.
